one day before 18th Novemeber 2007.
zak yayapapaya labelled sofi as, "the-love-of-my-life"
and sofi can't stop rolling her eyes till it fell off the eye socket.

daysss after 18th November 2008.
and now, sofi can't stop HEH HEH HEH HEHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
and zak, HEH HEH HEH HEHHHHHHHHH also la horrr.
HEH HEH HEH HEH
and
i HNGH you ahhhhhh zak.
<3

i cringe everytime i read the previous post, especially e last part. HAHA. but come to think about it, we always forget to love ourselves, pamper ourselves and take care of ourselves FIRST, before we do the same thing to others. its a good thing that we constantly look out for each other, every nano second of the day, just to make sure that someone is okay/happy. but really really, don't feel big-headed or TTM(tak tahu malu) to admit you are the BEST thing ever that has happened in this universe for YOURSELF and GOD's greatest gift.because, it is TRUE. so, shop like you never shop before. go to the masseuse or spa or facial that you've always wanted to. listen to yourself and protect that precious heart of yours. never ever ever let anyone take anything away from your dreams. only when you start loving yourself, believing in yourself, have faith in yourself, everything else is magic:)

for what's worth, all the birthday celebrations&wishes is/was truly magical and from the bottom of my heart,i sincerely thank you.

i love you.

Dear Sofi,

Though age is just a number, what matters most, lies in your heart and in your mind, ESPECIALLY in your MIND. You have just got to keep on believing in yourself. Listen to the good stuffs and do good things. Dream BIGGGGGGGGGGGGG and keep on going and going and going and going and going and going and going and GOING and GOING. I believe in you.
Happy 22nd Birthday, I love you Sofi.

Love,
Sofi

Do you think you have a psychological problem?

because seriously,
i am THIS CLOSE to run.
so please, don't drive me.

starting from tomorrow, i am going to wear my Havainas to work. yes. the Brazillian slipper-sandal which makes my feet looks naked. so, no more brown or black pumps. and just before i reach the lift lobby, i will go to one secluded corner and THEN change to heels. simply because, firstly, the weather is pretty unpredictable these days that it can look super sunny in the morning and raining cats and dogs in the afternoon, leaving my pumps/heels freaking soaked. secondly, my feet have yet to condition itself to heels. so eventhough it's my 5984375983745937593th wearing it, plasters is a neccessity. i've yet to try and test it, but i think it's more practical than pumps. will see how it goes.

so, i've been reading, listening,talking and watching about stuffs related to work&life and, i am really really beginning to understand why the sky is blue. there are a lot of nay-sayers, faulty thinking messed up in our brains and people who tend to resonates negativity with us when we entertain such thoughts. the sad truth is that these "people" could also be me. these negativities will then manifest into the most wicked things of them all. but the best deal here is that in one second, it can all change into a whole different dimension and bring anyone to the moon. at this point of time, let's not care if it's unrealistic, be affected by the judgements of others/the scarecrow and entertain the what-ifs. the real deal here is that

i believe. i feel. i desire. i want. i write. i draw. i talk. i dream. i visualize. i see.
and i know.

Fusohhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:)

i think i have been losing myself lately that i FORGET all about believing. i let myself immerse into it and let the emotions get the better of me. i forget what is being patient is all about. i forget in believing in myself and worry till all the batteries are used up unnecesarily in me. i forget in redha-ing despite the efforts. i forget in ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS looking at the bright side.

so please, Sofi,

1) STOP BROOODING.
2) STOP COMPLAINING.
3) STOP THE UNNECESSARY CONTROLLABLES.

SUCK.IT.UP and JUST.LET.IT.GO.
and REMEMBER, what goes down must come up and what goes up, only stays up.
good day! :)

this is nice:) i like my training mates in AIMS and how we feast our eyes on MrPyramidGame for whole five days, though he is relatively quiet most of the time. HEH. amazed at the mother of five with triplets&two kids, who has a contagious laughter and still looks FANTASTIC. enjoy classes with the amiable mates and the trainers. the golden opportunity talk by the CEO in class and lastly, truly blessed that the manager is really really a sincere&genuine person.

well, i may not the best judge of characters, but the law of attraction never fails.

it ONLY comes from within.
and i have a good feeling about this
this is nice
and
this is good.

InsyaAllah.

we care about you. we care about you. we care about you.

if only, it was a little bit simpler, easier and in a non-egomaniac manner at all.
till then, give it a break. really.

me: sometimes, i wish that i am a guy, indifferent to emotions.
teresa: are you CRAZY??!??!?!?! guys are idiots! it's not that they are indifferent, it's just that they can't seeeeeee! and they REALLY REALLY can't seee.

HAHA. teresa, i miss those analysing moments with you, especially the part where we both go, "OHHMYYGODD! yes yes!YES!!! why ahhh???" haha. and then, as we go deeper, psychoanalyse, ponder and wonder, we realised that seriously, it's just like that! :)

maybe that's why Allah made it such that men and women are different.
maybe that's why we have this amusingly inexplicable affinity.
maybe that's why i love him so much in so many ways.

and when i tried to look into his mind, put on his hat, i realised that it paints a better picture.
a picture with vibrant colours, not too much, nor too little, but just right.
just right.


buttttttttt, he just had to spoil the moment, and said this,

zak: ehh. does your sister have thomas THE TRAIN DVD??
me: huh?what?
zak: thomas the TRAINNNNN..
me: huh?
zak: thomas the TRAINNNN. anaqy wants to watch it!
me: OHHHH! it's THOMAS AND FRIENDS, YOU IDIOT!!!

teresa honey, we are still so right about them. SO SO right. haha.
<3>

i have no idea how i survived the war last sunday.
from noon till about eleven-ish or so, we were "attacked" consistently from one big adams family to another. brother had to warn us and say, "ANOTHER ONE! INCOMING! GET READY!" go go go!! haha. as usual, it was quite chaotic but really REALLY, sometimes i wish my mum stays out of the kitchen, entertain the guests ONLY and leaves me alone, to do the serving. i know what to do, more of, i know what SHE SPECIFICALLY WANTS me to do. and if its not her way, hell breaks loose:/ i think hosting an open house is a better option for us, but then again, dad loves people consistently coming to his place. it keeps the house lively:) so, mari-mari datang rumah happy raya ohkayyyyyy! haha.

so, yes, bik nana's HUGE family came on sunday and we tried taking pics of the third generation. coincidentally, most of the kiddos wore checked that day. and this is what we get.

picture 1:
adam cried because he accidentally dropped his mummy's phone under that big fat red sofa at my house. riskin showed a forced smile. haris, checking out on riskin and afif, being a protective brother.

FAILED.

picture 2:
almost perfect. buttttttt incomplete!

FAILED.
picture 3:
now, better, but only yasmin is picture-approved!

FAILED.
picture 4:
WE GAVE UP.
more of my camera couldnt take it anymore and the kids waved the white flag and obviously, my camera sucks. haha

butttttttt, i think this was a good shot of baby haidar.
baby model.
handsome giler ahh.
I WANT HIS PORCELAIN-LIKE SKIN.
and his eyes. and his everything. can i be yours haidar?haha

anyway, i've said this before, and im going so say it again, WHY CAN'T THERE BE MORE THAN 24 hours in a day?
superwoman, inspire me PLEASE.

i think because my mum cooked the rendang three days in advance and we were on the ball in cleaning up the house, i am glad to say that this year's raya is much MUCH less hectic than the past few years! everything was on time and perfect. EXCEPT the cushion covers which my mum particularly wants to search it on her own. food was good, EXCEPT for the fact that, as of now, it's my fourth time going to the toilet to berak:(( my mum had this idea that my stomach is "terperanjat" after fasting for a month or so and thus, adjusting to eating three meals a day. but seriously, i think all i could remember was "sumbating", yes, NOT eating, SUMBATING, sambal goreng mak enah which is SO SEDAP NAK MAMPOS ah. oh wells, but for all that's worth, the food was seriously SERIOUSLY good.

anyway, i think the best part about raya is meeting people. meeting far far away relatives&friends and listening to interesting stories about them. like how i met my second/third cousin who works at singapore zoo and got bitten by a python! you should have seen the marks and stitches on her hand and how she looked so cool and calm about it. and of course! babiesssssss. oooooh how fast they have grown. baby marsha who is already SIX months old!so so gerammm la!

mumsie and baby marsha!

my favourite boysss. yes, including the SEBOK one in the middle who is 63 years old.
HAPPY CHILDRENS' DAY KIDS!

my kids:)

haha.
perasaan.

and yes, if you think the SEBOK boy in the middle looks small in the second pic, LOOK again. haha.
dadsterrrrr, you are ze best laaaaaa.

:)

yesterday, he came into my room in this state.
he made his face like a lion roaringggg and said,
"fafi! i'm a MONSTERRRRRRRRR!"

zikry and i laughed so hard because he looked totally innocent and cute after he acted like a monster.
only much later, we came into my brother's room and saw the "beautiful" drawings that he did on my brother's wardrobe.
he stood there, and said, "colli fafi" (sorry auntie sofi)
how can you everrrr be angry with this boyyyy?

like i've said, these things happen and it doesn't matter.
it's the part after it which does:)
*hugs.
Selamat hari raya.
Maaf zahir dan batin.
:)

edited//

oooh oooh! how can i forget to blog about this! so anywayyy, last saturday nadi invited us to her place for one of her awesome fiesta, where we have to cook from scratch. this time round is mexican food with yummy taste like taco bells and lots and lots of lime nachos. but the sad truth is that, both zak and i have no idea how to cook at all and we basically took instructions from nadi and izk.haha. it was a mad rush from 5-7pm with the ikea people delivering furnitures during buka. but nevertheless, the food was finger-licking good. thank you nadi! more more moree!! and nadiah! so tey-ney-ney laaa... last minute kennot make it!:( next time k hun!

and we wonder what happened to the avocados that we cut. haha.

nadi! i should have stayeddddd! more k nadi&izk. pleaseeeeeeeee. i will come wayyyyyy early and cancel tuition this time round. haha.

Two thumbs-up for 84 minutes of solid emotional roller coaster ride of grey's anatomy.

and my favourite, favourite part....... :)

Meredith narrating: We all remember the bed time stories of our childhood. The shoe fit Cinderella, the frog was turned into a prince, sleeping beauty was awakened with a kiss. Once upon a time and then they lived happily ever after. Fairy tales. The stuff of dreams. the problem is, fairy tales don't come true. It's the other stories. The ones that start in dark and stormy nights and end in the unspeakable. The nightmares always seem to become the reality.

Meredith narrating: Once upon a time, happier ever after. The stories we tell are the stuff of dreams. Fairy tales don't come true. Reality is much stormier. Much murkier. Much scarier.







ultimately, it's how we deal with the nightmares. it's the part after IT that matters.the part where we make it right.we will get there someday, somehow, somewhere.
*hugs.

i like to talk:) talking helps with every sense of the word and the best part is, how people like you and i, make fun of wordssssssss just to laugh about it! haha.

went to last-min shopping and bought bagssss that day.

me: my BAG is gorgeous laaaaaaaaa.
zak: your BACK is gorgeous????? *stops and looks at my back*
me: ZAKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!
zak: that was so random and out of the blue laaaa.
me:-_-

on the way to buy stuffs for raya.

me: okay. should we go geylang or ikea first? i need to go to ikea to buy BOXES.
zak: you need to buy BOXERS at IKEA???? *priceless look*
me: SIULAHHHHHHHHH!!!

zak cannot defend his winning tittle of kentalness cannnnn. who on earth would say that their BACK is gorgeous and be proud of it??? and go ikea especially to buy BOXERS, seluar dalam or coliiiiii??? zak, apasal kau kentalllll ah? haha. sayangggggggggggggs:)

so, anyway, i am soooooo excited to do something different to my room.not sure whether i want to shift the bed and tables. but i am damn sure of getting rid of my notes or sell it on e-bay(ceyyyyy! action sia! haha. but it's my hard-earned effort! LOL).this room needs a breath of fresh air. and yessssssss, THAT JP benjamin sale at hyatt was damn worth it laaaaaaa. 6 bags of Guess for $180?me and syirin went HYPER-CRAZYYYY(literally), and it doesn't matter if we sat on the floor in the middle of the room filled with equally kiasu people, wearing killer heels, freaking last-minute news, super broke(exhausting savings:( ), missing from work for THREE hours, and if the whole world saw seluar dalam laaaaaaaaa.we totally felt satisfied:)butttttttt though the guilt sets in immediately after paying, at this point of time, i wish i bought moreeeeeeeeeee.HAHA. thank you cilin! sayangggg kau. aku PON suka melaram. haha.

and yeah!!

yeh yeh! nak dekat raya!:)

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bei sai tahan lehhhhhh.

isnandar, you know want?

i want to join you and CHOP OFF MY NOSE TOO.

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

mfijfienwfiwcnincwncoewjenfrijewn.
i must have gotten it from my manager or my korean kids.
but seriously lorrr.

BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

ohh goody.
i just bought my third pair of shoes in a month and in the NAME OF SHOES, thou shall NEVER EVER EVER SAY ENOUGH. i like how the shoe was named, "Goddess" and it truly made me feel that i'm fully in control and ready to rule the world, anytime, when i put it on. you know, the feeling of being a little bit sexy and more confident of yourself. i like it. but taking minute steps and "beautifying" my feet with cute plasters all over my feet made me think thrice about it. oh wellsss, i must get use to this.
till then, it's full throtleeeeeeeeeeee babyyyyyyyy.
and i better get use to that too :/
haha.

UPDATESSSSSSSSSSSSS.
1) let it be known that, SYED ISKANDAR HAMZAHHHHH, i am so SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know the results of the competition is not out yet, but i think that your last minute creation of the 3-min video to lonely planet is very professionally done! i LOVE the music. i LOVE the photos and i LOVE everything about it! and like you said to me, "if you are up there, don't forget me kayyyy" HAHAHA.
YOU JUST MADE ME WANT TO GO TO JAVA NOWWW k.
my bags are packed. how about yours? ceyyyyyyyyyyy.dream on la sofi! haha.


he wants to know what you think!:) go visit isk@my links!:)


2)for three consecutive years, we are the loyal followers of raz's performances and it's no-different this year, whether we have a jargon of our own or not. butttt honestly, the KAKI GAJAH, lari-lari with hands behind our pantat and my hair-band sandal was CLASSIC laaaa.

and i think isk looked DAMN good that night. and not forgetting my lesbian partner for the night/week/year/lifetime:) love you suisk!

3) my sis's family just took family pictures at the botanic gardens and the photography is superb! it must be hard for the kids to stay still and SMILE but nevertheless, whatever they do is always a picture moment. gerammmmmmmm!

this is my favourite:)

if you could just see how ROUND and huggable redha is, you would have done the same thing to redha, or even worse. haha

BIGGGG brother protecting little redha.

little redha being naughty!

MACAM PAHAM ejer pakcik redha nie tauuuuuuuu! haha

4) just when i thought, prison break, grey's AND brothers and sisters was enough, along came gossip girl, which i had no absolute interest in last year UNTIL zak had to introduce it to me! LOL. and i must say, it's veryy gossipy because everyone wants to know who is dating who and all. soooo, not bad. give it a try the second time round yea? i did. and i like it!:)

check out their "uniforms"
if only.... LOL but school's over!!!!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:)

i've always loved blair's accesories especially her headband and chuck bass' smouldering eyes.

HOT okay.

5) it's pretty much settled now. rough roads at the beginning and definitely more to come in different settings.
my mind is settled.
my heart is calm.
and she is placated:)

awwww... sayangs.

*hugs.

:)

AKV. i think this is the order of my learning style. nothing to do with the collage i did at 3.30a.m, but just so you know, a huge percentage of me "understands" better when you talk to me.
which is why, i think,
i listen too much.
i care too much
and
i love too much.

this collage, i love.
nonsense pictures on nonsense days with you.
and i love you,
like a lot.
really.

the fifth season



now, this is sweeeeeeeeeeeeet.

25th September 2008, come quickly.

till then, we shall continue to watch prison break season 4 yeah, honey?

oooooooh, this is going to be REAL GOOD.